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You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth?

Dear group of young people sitting nearby at my new favorite taqueria:  Is it necessary to drop the f-bomb into every sentence you bark at one another in this tiny restaurant? It's not cool or colorful. It's like you're spewing your mouth decay into the air. There's no need to shout, as everyone can hear every word even at normal or -- dare I suggest? -- quiet volume.  You're dressed like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, so we can already tell you're way tough even without the steel-toed language. That beautiful young lady sitting with you deserves some consideration, even if you think the granny at the next table doesn't. (Honey, you seem mortified. Why do you put up with your friends' vile behavior? Are you being held hostage? Blink twice if you need help!) Don't tell me you guys don't know any better, because I know your mothers tried. You weren't raised by jackals.  Would it kill you to act like decent human beings for a few minutes, at least until you get out to the beach?  Even my rowdy sons and their unruly friends know there's a time and a place.  Also, you're all talking with your mouths full. Nobody wants to hear what you're saying OR see what you're chewing. You could inhale a gob of carne asada while drawing breath for your next foul eruption.  You might even choke. To death. Wouldn't that be awful.

6 comments:

  1. Sounds like upper class faux-punks with too much time, too much money and not enough couth. Sheesh!

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  2. I could, with very little persuasion, forget any Heimlich-ing I ever knew.

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  3. Amen, and boy am I all the more sensitive to this sort of thing with a toddler in tow.

    Incidentally, the current Google ad on the top of your page: "Defund NPR."

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  4. Ye gods. I'll figure out how to fix it. Thanks, Bruce.

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  5. I wrangle with "language" everyday at the high school. Our principal called a parent to say that her son was suspended because of his continual use of profanity. She said "Blame that on the time he spends with his f*****g father." Kelly, I like "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Maybe a "hey, I think your words just left a bit of poo on your lips. Here's a tissue." Joanne Lobeski-Snyder

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