Take that, you asshat

For 10 days I've fretted about a freeloading pirate who'd hijacked my wireless signal and was determined to "share" permanently. He showed up on my network summary, always active, always there. No matter how I reconfigured the network and held my mouth just right, I couldn't shake him. He wasn't exactly forcing me down the plank, but was he logging my every keystroke? Mirroring my computer? Cleaning out my bank account? Who could tell. He seemed to be merely breathing heavily on the wireless air, but still. Annoying.

Call the help desk? I tried. I was patient. But great was the language barrier, and we did not fall for each other. We were unable to get past a basic premise: He kept saying I would have to remove the user. I kept saying that's what I was calling him for. GAH. Click-buzz.

I chewed on it. I turned it over. Soon I had the faraway glimmer of a hint of a notion of an idea: Computer techs are hardware and software engineers. Like all engineers, they're careful, exact and specific. Like writers, they choose their words with precision. What were his words again? I fell sleep retracing the conversation (what did he say exactly?), and this morning I had my answer.

"Remove the user" wasn't just a solution, it was an instruction.

Before dawn, before coffee, before I could forget, I went to my network help file (which I'd slapped through back and forth, plenty, believe me) and typed into the search window: "remove user." Ten steps later, voilá!

Buh-BYE, Barnacle Bob, you piratey pea picker. Arrgh. Don't write. Don't call. Do be a stranger.

Thanks, tech guy. My bad on the communication deal. I let the sound of my frustration drown you out. Next time I'll remember the crucial part of communicating -- listening.

1 comment:

  1. I had the same problem with some clown using my wireless network. Following that discovery I downloaded, for free, Network Magic. It allows my signal to not show up or be picked up on anyone's wireless network. Plus, it encrypted my network. Check it out.